It's absolutely awesome when God works things together to prepare you for something you never saw coming. In 2016, Joseph became the new Jr. High Youth Pastor at our church. During this time, my family and I were just starting to get plugged into a new church. We started the process of joining the church when I visited with Joseph on his first day as Jr. High Youth Pastor. I started struggling with where I should serve, and I honestly wasn't sure why I was struggling. To me, it only made sense that I joined the church that my family was going to, but my heart was wandering and anxious. I struggled for weeks because I thought I found my home in the new church I was attending, but at the same time, I fell in love with a group of middle school kids that I didn't even know. That is when a totally unexpected journey led to the piece of my heart that shaped me into the person I am today.
So, I was struggling BIG time and these are the 3 reasons why.
I was 19 years old. What could I possibly have to offer 7th-12th graders? I obviously didn't know what I was doing! I just knew I had an unexplainable love and I was drawn to the silly, awkward, fascinating kids that I had spent 1 day with.
I was 19 years old. My place was obviously with my family and I had found the place I wanted to call my home. Why would God show me that just to confuse me?? Anyone know the answer to that?? Because I sure didn't and boyyyyy was it messing with ME!!!
I was 19 years old. WHY, HUH, WHAT????? This was totally off my radar!!!! I knew Joseph was called to preach, I knew Joseph and I were God-made for each other, but I thought obviously we'd start our ministry together well after we finished school, got married, and other important milestones had occurred.
Okay, PAUSE. Did you catch that I said "OBVIOUSLY" a lot in those first 2 paragraphs???? Just a heads up.
Back to business. Okay, so at this point I decided I would not join a church until God made it undeniably obvious as to what I was supposed to be doing. For the next few months, I visited between the 2 church's and continued to try to understand why I was struggling so. My heart longed to be with my family because I knew God had something MAJOR in store for the Barker household, but I also had a longing in my heart to be with the students that were quickly growing on me and continuing to surprise me with the things I was learning from THEM.
Fast forward a few months and my family and I were going through the last step to become members at our new church. We had filled out our cards to turn in that Sunday and officially become members. DONE! I thought surely this is OBVIOUSLY where I'm supposed to be, but the tray came around to collect our cards and I just couldn't turn in my card. UGH. What was going on?? I was frustrated, confused, and I didn't know how to even explain what just happened to my family. Let's just say that lead to a tough start of the week! Wednesday night rolled around and my Joseph was preaching, so of course I was right there in the audience to listen. I honestly don't even know what he was preaching on. All I remember is a stillness that overcame me that night as I sat listening intently. We stood up to finish the night in worship and it's like I could hear Him whispering through the song, "this is where I have OBVIOUSLY placed you." The next Sunday, I joined the church and became a small group leader for the 7th - 9th grade girls.
You see, God had been preparing my heart for those girls since I was in 11th grade. WHO KNEW??? Through the Miss Alabama Organization, I founded my platform that centered around encouraging young girls to be who God created them to be and finding confidence in the differences that God gave them. And, you'll never guess my dominant crowd for that program... Go ahead. Take a guess. IT WAS 7TH -9TH GRADE GIRLS. I even met some of the girls that would become my students before they were even my students. GASP. My God is awesome. God orchestrated a total unexpected series of events in my life to prepare me for one of the greatest things I've ever gotten to be a part of.
So, this post is dedicated to ALL my students. I don't have kids.... (can I get an AMEN!) but I love those kids like they're my own. Which is why my heart broke as we said "See you later" last Sunday. Bare with me while I give them a little shout out.
MY STUDENTS.
I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I can not say that enough. Wow. You are my heart.
I love you all so dearly. Whether I had you 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, or 3 years, you have made an impact on ME. Thank you for loving my awkward, sometimes embarrassing, mess of a self. You all have taught me what it truly means to love someone deeply. When you cry, I cry, and when you are laughing, I am laughing. I have learned way more from you than you probably ever did from me. You are all so special and play an intricate role in the God family.
KEEP GOING! Always allow God to be a part of everything you do. Praise Him in the little and the big. BE YOURSELF because that is exactly who He made you to be. You may think you're alone in this big world, but remembe,r you have a friend in the One who knows exactly how you feel.
I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. Seriously, just because I'm moving does not mean I am not in your corner. Call me, text me, dm me. I love YOU deeply. You are part of my family now and I couldn't be happier about it. Thank you for loving me back and being there for me through the good and the bad. I can't wait to hug you tight again soon.
So, why have I written this longer than usual post??? Because I want YOU, whoever is reading this, to know that God's plans are not always obvious. I am having to realize that AGAIN. Currently struggling with moving, leaving my family, leaving my job, and leaving my students. NOT EASY. NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED.
NEWS FLASH
God's plans are not always obvious, but as promised, "He works ALL things together for my good" EVEN IF I don't see it yet. God is reminding me of that gently and constantly this week. Honestly, my plan for part 2 today was not for you. Part 2 today was for me. God had his hand in this to remind me of how faithful He is and how even when it doesn't make sense, He sees the BIG PICTURE.
My challenge for you this week is to simply reflect on the faithfulness that God has shown you in your lifetime. Remind yourself of the provision, grace, peace, and mercy He has poured into your life. Make a list. Lists help you to visualize, meditate, and commemorate what lies in your heart. Let that reminder be a stepping stone for the next OBVIOUS thing. Share this blog today with someone you know that is struggling with 2020. Whether change is taking place, you're in the in between of uncertainty, or you're waiting for your next step, remember the One who sees the whole plan. The SOUL PURPOSE lies in HIS PURPOSE.
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