I honestly don’t even know where to start this week. This post is going to be a little different than the last 2 of this series. There’s no way I could dive into how I feel about each person. I’m just going to have to be really real with y’all. This has been the hardest week ever. January 3rd we traveled 5 hours to New Orleans, Louisiana from Anniston, Alabama. For the first time in my life, I only know 1 person in the state that I’m living in. As my family helped us move, unload, decorate, and get us settled in, my heart started to realize just how far away they would be. Then, I started realizing just how impossible God’s plans for us seemed to be.
My family and I are super close. They are literally my best friends besides Joseph. We tell each other everything and we always support one another in our goals and dreams. They have been so supportive about our move and have encouraged me every step of the way, but when it came down to it I wasn’t and still am not prepared for the long distance relationship that we are having to tackle. So, as the time got closer and closer for them to head back to bama, my heart broke over and over again. Even though I know God’s next step for me was to be with Joseph in New Orleans, it doesn’t mean that it’s easy or fun.
Our last Sunday at our church, Joseph taught Sunday School to our students. He talked about having a “no strings attached” relationship with God. As I sat and listened I thought I really understood what he was saying. I thought I knew what it meant to GO even if it’s not what I wanted. NEWS FLASH. I had no idea what that looked like until my fam jam pulled out of the parking lot and headed back HOME.
Over the last few days I have experienced fear, anger, loss, sadness, and confusion over this new “journey“ we were about to face and I’m just starting to get a glimpse at what it truly means to have a “no strings attached” type of faith. My family is the most important thing to me, and I had to say “see you later” to the ones I can’t do life without.
My mom took me on a walk this afternoon before they left, and we talked through some really real struggles, thoughts, and feelings about what was lying ahead. I had distracted myself with the holidays and i hadn’t been honest with myself about how I was truly feeling about our move. Through tears and prayer, she pointed me back to the One who knows my soul just like she always does. She reminded me of the fact that He cares for me and KNOWS exactly how I feel. As we walked around my new neighborhood, she covered me in the truths of our Father. Here’s just a few things she helped me realize.
It‘s easy to focus on the bad and it’s easy to forget who truly guided our steps to where we are now. It’s easy to play the blame game and say that we only did something because someone else made us. When we think that way, we don’t truly have a faith with no stipulations. I am just dealing with this phase of life. LITERALLY. I’ve only been here for 2 days, but I’m starting to realize what it takes to have a stipulation free faith. God has been reminding me through my mom, dad, and sister today that God did not bring me to this place to leave me and that is what I will continue to repeat to myself on this journey.
Maybe what God has in HIS plans for you seems totally opposite of your plans for yourself. Maybe HIS plans seem scarier than you thought they’d be. Or maybe you are running away from HIS plans for your life. Whatever your situation, do the next right thing and take a small step towards Him. Remind yourself that HE did not bring you here to leave you. No matter how lonely, small, or defeated you feel, HE has more for you. A spirit of fear is not from our God, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t feel totally terrified. Just know that that’s not the end game for you because HE did not bring you to the place you’re at to leave you stranded.
The Soul Purpose starts with you. You have to take the next step towards Him in order for Him to show you His wonderous plan. It’s going to be hard, but remind yourself it will be worth it.
Share “The Soul Purpose” with someone you know that is struggling with a season of life. Let them know you’re thinking of them.
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